It’s time you knew about the kind of stress that’s holding you back from getting where you want to be and how to deal with it.
For far too long, I’ve seen and read so many clueless and often harmful approaches to what so- called ‘experts’ out there say about ‘getting rid of stress.’ Crazy ideas like opening windows to breathe in fresh air, going for a walk, shouting affirmations to yourself while looking in a mirror, or walking on hot coals, none of which have anything to do with reducing stress levels.
In this blog post, I’m going to give you an overview of stress and what to do about it in the correct way. In fact, it’s the only way. Because if you don’t know what stress is, you can’t fix it.
I want to explain the reasons why you’re stressed, and show you how the right way to sort out your stress successfully can change your life for the better. How it can calm you down, promote a healthy mind, help you be more relaxed, give you more confidence, have more fun with your family and friends, set new goals, and reach them.
Sounds too good to be true? Is this just another load of hype the so-called ‘gurus’ have been peddling for years that simply doesn’t work?
For the past 25 years, I’ve been helping people around the world, in all walks of life—professionals, academics, and workers at every level — get their stress sorted out. My methods work, because they’re based on the truth about stress, not a handful of gimmicks that set you up to fail from the word go.
Look, our lives today are complicated, aren’t they? We have relationships to deal with, whether at home or at work. We are constantly trying to juggle so many responsibilities, sort out money issues, raise our children, and look after our pets. Even traveling to and from work every day is one big pain. Whether you drive, take the train, or even fly, is there ever a day when it all goes smoothly?
We’re overworked, often underpaid, hassled, harassed, hurt, and hungry for relief from everything we’re faced with. So when you think about all the negative stuff we’ll get smacked in the face with today, and probably tomorrow, it seems sensible to want to get rid of all our stress, right?
Well, actually, no.
You see, not only do we need stress, the fact is stress is wired into us. Without it, we’d lose a vital part of our entire human system that was made to protect us.
Now, you might be thinking, ‘Come on, Ches, are you telling me stress is a good thing?’ Let me explain. And I’ll try to keep all the technical stuff others want to bombard you with to a minimum so we can focus on what you need to know about stress in a way that’s understandable—and what to do about it when it gets out of control.
Have you ever heard of the phrase ‘fight-or-flight’? It’s an instance where you come up against a potentially dangerous or life-threatening situation, and you have to make a decision whether to stay and deal with whatever’s causing the threat, or run away from it as fast as you can.
Either way, if you didn’t have your in-built stress system, you’d be totally ill-equipped to do either. Because when you make the choice to run, you need energy. And so your stress system is wired to gather all the chemicals and brain activities it needs and channel them into one major resource to provide the support you need so you can get the hell out of there fast.
I’m sure you’ve heard of the hormone adrenaline, and having an ‘adrenaline rush’. Well, that’s just a part of what your stress system gives you to help you retreat from danger, sending blood surging through your muscles, getting your heart and breathing apparatus ready for the sprint you’re going to make. And if instead of fleeing, you choose to stay and confront the threat, you will not only need adrenaline to keep you on top form, you will also need other brain chemicals to help you think clearly, rationally and make the right decisions. Again, your amazing stress system is there to provide the relevant support for the type of situation you’re facing. Remember, I said ‘dangerous’ or ‘life-threatening’, and that’s a major clue to the problems you may be having with chronic stress. I’ll come on to that in a moment.
But the fact is, you NEED stress. And what’s more, you can’t get rid of stress! Let me repeat that: You can’t get rid of stress. It’s our survival system—a perfectly natural and vital bodily process.
What, then, is the problem?
Why are you, like so many others, constantly ‘stressed out.’ What’s gone wrong? Is your stress system malfunctioning? Are you mentally ill? And most importantly, what do you do to put it right?
Well, I don’t want to give you even more stress than you already have, so let me first explain what
stress is NOT:
Stress is not a MEDICAL condition. While it’s true that high stress levels that aren’t addressed correctly can lead to total burnout, most silly approaches to dealing with stress focus on how to treat the burnout! Nothing about what caused it! So the stress that wasn’t a medical issue to start with has now become the focus of treatment! No wonder this does nothing to alleviate your overstressed state!
Sometimes stress is defined as some kind of MENTAL issue. That’s wrong too. Now, you might be thinking, ‘Just a moment, Ches. Surely not being stressed is all about positive mental health, so how can it not be a mental issue? There must be something wrong in my head!’
No! We’re not born with built-in levels of stress so intense that they make our lives hell. As I said, stress is actually a part of our body’s function. It’s there at the ready, when it needs to be used.
And when is that? Like I explained, it’s at perceived ‘dangerous’ or ‘life threatening’ times. But here’s one piece of information that seems to get ignored most of the time: As soon as that ‘dangerous’ or ‘life-threatening fight-or flight’ situation has passed, our stress system goes back into a balanced state. And all the hormones and resources that it drew from other parts of your body to support your potentially life-threatening situation start operating normally once more. Your whole body returns to calm, and you are no longer ‘stressed’.
So here comes the absolute fact — the 100% truth — about the stress you think you’re having to deal with in your life. The problem is not with stress!
No, the REAL issue is not a constant enemy who delivers distress, burn-out and everything negative in our stressed-out lives.
Getting your stress sorted out is all about management. That’s right. It’s about managing your stress, not trying to eliminate what cannot be eliminated.
Remember, I said that our built-in stress mechanism is supposed to return to a balanced state after dealing with a dangerous or life-threatening situation. But if we don’t manage our stress properly, then everything — whether it’s a family problem, a traffic jam, or simply having to wait a long time in a queue—seems to demand a ‘fight-or-flight’ response.
Who is putting those ideas in our heads that everything is a life-or-death matter? Who says that not meeting a deadline, or missing a flight, is on par with coming face-to-face with a hungry bear?
It’s our own thought processes that we’ve allowed to get out of control. And the more negative scenarios we build in our thoughts as to what the potential outcome of our situation will be, the more likely our stress system will be kicked into a constant state of ‘fight-or-flight’. Then all those chemicals and processes that were gathered specifically to help you in that dangerous or life-threatening situation won’t get back in balance, and so the body won’t return to normal. It will be in a constant state of stress. That, of course, leads to all kinds of physical and mental health issues, some very serious. Perhaps you are suffering from some of them right now.
But here’s the good news.
When you manage your stress properly, this constant ‘every-part-of-my-life-is-stressful’ thought process is eliminated, and things do get back to normal.
In my workshops and seminars, I show you how to manage your stress using strategies that give you the greatest control of your thoughts and your life in the shortest possible time. I leave no stone unturned. And I not only show you what to do, I show you how to do it.
In my upcoming events, I’ll share with you tried and tested ways of dealing with work and people without raising your stress levels — whether that’s fellow employees, colleagues, friends, or family.
But even more importantly, I’m going to show you how to manage yourself.
I’ll cover goal setting and implementation, as well as a problem-solving technique guaranteed to change your life and your approach to almost everything.
I’ll also share with you two absolutely guaranteed methods of how to get a full night’s sleep — something we all need, but when stricken with chronic stress, it’s one of the first things we suffer from.
Once you’ve learned how to get control of your stress and manage it, I believe it will have an enormous impact on your life. Happiness, motivation, focus… a whole new world of possibilities will open up to you.
With that kind of opportunity awaiting you, why let mismanagement of stress hold you back?
We all have stress in our lives. We couldn’t and shouldn’t live without it.
Our task is simply to manage it well, and get it under control.
And I’m here to help you do that successfully.
So forget the silly ideas about ‘getting rid of stress’ which will certainly set you up to fail.
Instead, invest in learning how to control your stress so it becomes a welcome guest when it’s needed, and not a pest when it’s not.
If you want help sorting out your stress response issues…please click here and set up a free 30 minute meeting and I’ll tell you if I can help.
Here’s to mastering your stress.
The Stress Master
About Ches Moulton, The Stress Master
Ches Moulton, a certified stress management consultant, is the UK’s leading authority on stress management.
His career has spanned more than 25 years, during which time he has been a much sought-after executive coach, psychotherapist, and trainer. His most recent work has focused on helping those with elevated levels of stress overcome their problems and enjoy productive lives, free from both the physical and mental consequences of chronic stress.
During his time as a business performance consultant, Ches has served as an advisor to both private businesses and government in Canada, the Caribbean, United Kingdom, Africa and the Middle East. He is the author of ‘How to get control of your stress instead of stress controlling you’, and the international best-seller ‘Choice and Change — How to Have a Healthy Relationship with Ourself and Others’.
For more information…including video’s, resources to download and an opportunity to join Ches
when he is live…please visit him at thestressmaster.com